Author: Nick Nunes

p. 15-16 Druid Feedback

Maybe better descriptor than “non-magical” in case setting is something like this: http://goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2015/10/the-secrets-of-mundane-animals.html

Call of the Wild “you are not precise about the location” seems problematic.

Eye of the Storm “fires your touch” typo, also 7-9 what you touch seems imprecise? If I’m trying to calm a storm in the air around me am I touching the air? Does the storm just not affect me?

Elemental Mastery is RAW but problematic, you can roll a 10+ and choose to have no effect.

Formcrafter should be “The GM will choose a different stat”

Balance uses 1d4 still.

Doppleganger’s Dance feels off flavor, don’t like the ability to clone people for a Druid.

p. 13-14 Cleric Feedback

Thaumaturgy should be named “Miracle” or “Petition” or something other than thaumaturgy. That word is a little overloaded in DW hacks in my experience.

“Imposes on you a task” is weird language “imposes a task on you” would be better.

Holy Petitioner seems really weak, complete a quest for +1 forward doesn’t seem like much especially with the level 6+ and move prereqs.

Cheat Death Again should just be called Cheat Death?

Rebuke is good, but name doesn’t exactly match flavor, maybe “Commandment” or “Edict” or “Decree” instead.

Anathema needs a different trigger. As is it’s a win more move. If I’m already “striking down” (i.e. killing) an enemy why do I need to risk negative consequences to disintegrate it?

p. 11-12 Bard Feedback

…From My Friends

Who treats a 6- as a 7-9? You, your ally? The character aiding? The character rolling a move? The text is very vague and there are some extremely broken interpretations like any time two characters work together treat all 6- as 7-9. That seems bad.

It would be nice if Disarming and Open gave you the choice of asking and additional question or not allowing them to ask you.

Worldly intentionally one rank shorter?

p. 9-10 Barbarian Feedback

Class damage d6+1 instead of d6+2? As a d10 class is there a reason you reduced the damage?

What is Best in Life? and the drive Triumph are essentially the same. WIBIL has great flavor but lackluster reward when Triumph also exists. Maybe add “Take +1 ongoing against these foes in the future” or something.

Kill ’em All (Appetite for Destruction rank 2) dropped intentionally?

Usurper should be +1 ongoing IMO.

What’s the point of More! Always More!? Why would you take this move? And why remove “or write your own”? It seems like it’s a worse version of the Paladin’s Change of Heart (which looks to have been removed).

I read through the first release and generated a lot of feedback. I’m going to split it up so it’s a bit easier to digest. First though I’d like to say, great job! Regardless of any critiques that follow, in general, I really like what you’ve done and the fact that you’ve put the effort in to do it and share it with us. Kudos.

On to the general feedback.

Standardizing to d6 is a perfectly logical change that makes me sad. I understand why it was done, but I think there’s a pleasing haptic quality to having different die sizes for classes.

All of the classes seem like graceful evolutions, and improvements on the originals with a clear path from DW to this hack. They’re more mature renditions of the same concepts. Except the Ranger. The changes to the Ranger seem very out of character with the original Ranger and with the other changes in this hack. More on this in my Ranger feedback.

I really like the changes to Look, bringing in the gender and race options here is good innovation and doesn’t preclude things like the race moves from Grim World.

I’ve always thought rations should be treated like ammo, instead of a use system like adventuring gear. I know some really enjoy the bookkeeping of ration tracking but I think it will interact weird with Manage Provisions. If you reduce the amount of rations consumed, who gets to skip using one? Possibly should be just a group resource (this kinda pushes more PVP oriented games out though).

It seems like a lot of the Multiclass moves have had “ranks” removed? I’m assuming this was intentional? Any reason other than trying to maintain class uniqueness? Also do multiclass moves still need the “one level lower” clause? It seems like bookkeeping for little benefit, most moves don’t even care what your level is.

Throughout the book there is Inconsistent formatting of Forward and Ongoing, sometimes capitalized sometimes not.

p. 6

What benefit is intended from a 10+ on Navigate? Doesn’t it just mean you have to spend more time in a dangerous location? Or is the danger negated by “you avoid dangers”?

I think some clarification on when to roll Stay Sharp would be helpful. As written if you roll Stay Sharp every time you make camp, something will always approach.

p. 7

Why messy and vicious? Seem like they cover a lot of the same territory.

What happens on a 6- of I’m Back? Are they lying? Just a harder 7-9? Still get an XP? Do you have to roll this?

I know Outstanding Warrants is RAW, but it could use some clarification. Is this something you want to roll high or low on? What is the fiction of rolling high?

p. 29

No steading rules at all?

p. 30-31 I’d move the Threats from 31 recto to 30 recto, and put the follower rules together on 31.

Like the Threat Types inclusion

There should be a threat: Nature includes things like exposure, storms, etc…