Hi,
I’m new to the Dungeon World community.
I’ve made a dungeon starter for an adventure taking place in a sorcerer’s garden full of exotic plants, enchanted minions, and odd creatures.
I wanted to make the dungeon feel kinda old school and a bit fairytale like.
Used some other dungeon starters for help and inspiration since it’s my first time doing anything like this, plus made a lot of stuff on my own.
Hope you like it and any feedback would be welcome!
Thanks!
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1U_9x7qgRrUaaKxlaqTQVRhq3Nb7OUZRp
Looks pretty good to me. You might want to mention a CC license or some such.
Cool premise. Can’t wait to read this later. On my phone now.
Lester Ward good call! I updated the file to include the CC at the bottom. Thank you!
Ray Otus Thanks! Please let me know what you think when you get to read it.
Very evocative setting, Yaron Farkash. I would totally play through this. I’m wondering, from a design and usability standpoint if you might be better off fitting the main contents of the starter onto two pages and then putting all those cool items you made onto a separate page. That way you could cut the items into “cards” to hand out to players and all the GM facing material would be still easily within reach.
One other thought, to save space and reduce redundancy, I would probably cut the separate locations section altogether and combine your excellent descriptions with the ones that already exist in the impressions list.
This is really fun!
I agree with D. Kenny that the impressions are largely redundant with the locations list. Personally, though, I like the locations list better. I think that’s more useful to me as a GM. You might, however, try adding 1-2 non-visual impressions to each location.
E.g. in the outer gardens:
* Wind whsipering through leaves
* Cloying, perfumed scent of countless flowers
In the Study:
* Bubble and hiss of alchemical experiments, running unattended
* Weird, teeth-grating feeling
Other feedback:
For the setup Questions: consider addressing them more directly to the characters instead of the players. For example, instead of “How does the sorcerer punish trespasses?” ask “From what you’ve heard, how does the sorcerer punish trespasses?” It’s a minor thing, but it makes it so that the player is answering the questions from their character’s point of view. That’s both less jarring to players who expect the GM to be responsible for creating the world, and it gives you an “out” if the answer is somehow problematic (it’s just what they, like, heard, man).
There’s a lot going on some of those custom moves. For example, you could make the Fruit of the Sweet Fragrant tree not require a roll, and instead be: “When you first eat of the Sweet Frangrant Tree, choose 1:” (and list the good things.) “Each additional time you eat of the tree, you are Defying Danger (the danger being that you fall asleep and/or get Sick).
On the drink from the fountain move, it’d be nice if there was something more thematic than just a generalized vision. Like, maybe on a 7+ you experience a vision that reveals the mutable nature of reality; the GM will reveal something true about your current situation is that not what you currently believe; but on a 7-9, you must tell the GM a hidden truth about yourself, one that you didn’t even realize; on a miss, the vision leaves you reeling, doubting your very existence; take minus 1 ongoing until you experience a harsh and unforgiving truth.
For the scrolls, I’d just write up the spells as if they were Wizard spells, and then they can cast it from the scroll. If they chose to “forget the spell,” the spell evaporates. (If you want, a non-wizard could cast the spell from the scroll, too, but the best they can get is a 7-9.)
Re: the Codex of Rare Plants: I’d probably go with something a little less mechanical/numerical. How about: “When you quickly skim the tomb for information about rare plants, herbs, roots, and fungi, Spout Lore with a +1 bonus. When you browse the tomb at your leisure, ask the GM a question about rare plants, herbs, roots, and fungi. They’ll give you an interesting, useful answer.
Really minor thing: for the Children of the Pod Tree, I’d probably make their main attack/damage “acid spray” (d6 damage, close, ignores armor). And maybe make their first move “Spray acid all over when killed”.
For the Sorcerer, his instinct and his main move are the same. I’d like a little more insight into what he wants (i.e. a more specific instinct). “Alter reality” isn’t really an instinct in and of itself, not for a thinking, sapient character.
Likewise, I’d love to see some slightly more specific/flavorful moves. I’m not sure how I’d use “Collect rare plants and spell ingredients,” and “Bend the laws of nature” is pretty vague.
With all that said: I really like this! I’d totally use it as the basis for a one shot or short campaign.
D. Kenny very good insight! I’ll make sure to have those updates soon. thanks!
Jeremy Strandberg these are great! very helpful suggestions. I’ll definitely incorporate these suggestions. I was struggling a bit with like what would be the best mechanic to certain effects or how broad/specific to go with monster instincts, so getting insight from other folks is really helpful. I’ll post an updated version soon. But so far nothing but great advice from everyone! glad you liked it!
Hey! just made an overhaul update to the file, incorporating a lot of the great suggestions everyone gave. I also made some item cards at the end so DMs can give out to players. Thanks for all the suggestions! I think it really made it a lot better. Enjoy!
I’ve had this in my open-later folder on my computer for some time now, and this is amazing! Congratulations on making such a fantastic work for being so new to the community. Really well done.
Yeah, I’m really digging the updates, Yaron Farkash. This is solid work.
Mark Weis Thank you! I’m glad you liked it. yeah, It’s a great community! Very respectful and enthusiastic. I remember posting something on the Wotc D&D community back in the day (the old forum) and let’s just say that the experience I had on that forum made me wanna take a step back from online RPG communities for a while haha
But after watching this community for a bit, it was obvious to me that this is not the case here. So, I’m glad I mustered my courage to post this here and I’m trying to get more involved.
Jeremy Strandberg a lot of those changes came from your great feedback! Thanks, man.
I’m planning on running this soon, so we’ll see how this actually plays at the table (put it through the true test = PCs). So, I might make some more adjustments.