Had an AWESOME first session this past weekend. Really love this system. I had a VERY creative Druid, for whom I already need to create a couple custom moves. I’d love some feedback if you have the time!
The party ran foul of Bakunawa (monster on pg. 245), and through some clever planning managed to get Bakunawa to ingest Goldenroot poison. Long story short: Druid was able to study Bakunawa and gained the ability to shapeshift into her. I allowed him to use Bakunawa’s ability to “lure with lies and illusions” and it was in severe danger of being OP. In hindsight, I could have said the ability was magic and thus he was unable to mimic it, but I said it was pheremones and thus it makes sense in the game fiction. So I made THIS move:
BAKUNAWA’S PHEREMONES
When you have shapeshifted into the form of Bakunawa and spend one hold to emit your pheromones, roll + CHA.
* On a 10+, targets clustered together see visions of their greatest desire. * On a 7-9 you do not control the vision your targets see.
The other move has to do with mushrooms the druid harvested from his homeland. After I questioned him as to their effects, he said that they grant a bonus to healing magic (he has a bond with the party’s cleric). I told him I would create a custom move to ensure that it’s not too OP. Let me know what you think!
ARCANE MUSHROOMS (three uses)
When you ingest the mushrooms Puck gathered from the far reaches of the desert, roll + WIS and brace yourself.
* On a 10+ choose two. * On a 7-9 choose one.
• You channel the energy of the Ancients when casting magic that mends, but doesn’t destroy. Roll the power of your spell twice and take the higher roll.
• You don’t fall down a rabbit hole of psychosis-induced paranoia.
• The Ancients grant you a moment of transcendent clarity, ask the GM any question.
Excellent moves! I am inspired.
Only concerns on the mushroom move –
1) Is it necessary that Puck gathered them, or could they find another source to these mushrooms? Perhaps later down the road they meet Marco Polo, and he has a supply? If so, the move might better name the mushroom, instead of require Puck gathered them.
2) the system already refers to the mechanic of choosing best of two rolls. May want to rephrase the action portion of the first option: “Your spell has the best effect of two rolls.”
I love the option for psychosis and/or transcendence – this move specifically pushes the narrative. I’m intrigued by the 7-9 person who chooses option 3 – do they have a transcendent psychotic break, with no healing benefit? This could be fantastic to watch, particularly in the middle of a stressful scene where healing was likely important.
Pheromones move
On a 10+ do they see THEIR greatest desire or one of your choosing? If it is the former then the 7-9 makes no sense.
Tim Franzke i can see lots of opportunity created by the vague wording.
10+, GM describes a scene that gets the player what they want. This can be a discussion with the player to fine tune the details.
7-9, GM describes a scene that gets the player generally what they want, but they may come out of it uncomfortably… sticky.
Andrew Fish still, the 7-9 implies that you control what the visions are normally but the 10+ says you don’t anyway. That is super confusing and actually makes the 7-9 equal to the 10+.
Tim Franzke The move doesn’t specify that on a 10 + you don’t control the visions – it leaves it ambiguous. The GM may well turn it around on the player “What is this target’s greatest desire?” and work with that answer; but the GM isn’t required to do so – they just need to make it effective.
If you change the move to state that on a 10+ the Druid explicitly controls the visions, then that runs the risk of giving a player too much control over giving that particular target motivations that conflict with some other relevant fiction, or giving a bad GM the leeway of saying “So that’s what they see? It’s not interested in what you’re showing them.”
The move may benefit from refinement, but i don’t agree that it is wrong as written. I really, really like it as currently written. Its current phrasing provokes lots of ideas about how this could be turned around to make the Druids’ move mostly successful on a 7-9, but still have interesting drawbacks. It leaves itself open to interpretation in the spur of the moment, as a good move should.
Andrew Fish Tim Franzke Thank you guys so much for all the feedback! This is very helpful as it’s my first time creating any custom moves.
Regarding the Pheromones:
I think you both make excellent points. Most of the confusion does lie in my poor wording of the 7-9 result, which I had intended to leave semi-ambiguous. When I wrote “you do not control the vision,” I wanted to give a sense that the pheromones work, but the illusions are not necessarily what the target DESIRES. Maybe the target sees what they fear most, and it sends them into a shrieking run, alerting others nearby. I wanted to give a little leeway for the interpretation for some danger/hurdles to be thrown the PC’s way.
I think I do need to rephrase it, as I do not want the PCs to have control over the 10+ result. The vision itself is in the heads of the targets, as it taps into their personal desires, so having a PC decide what a target’s desire is doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.
Andrew Fish Thank you for the advice on the mushroom move!
1) It’s definitely not necessary that Puck (the Druid) gathered them, I’m gonna rephrase that! Good catch. Whoever gathers them could definitely use them in the same way.
2) THANK YOU. I was trying so hard to word this properly and you just saved me a massive headache. To clarify with an example: It is clear then that if the Cleric ingests the mushrooms and chooses the healing option, he will roll + WIS to cast the spell…and THEN he will roll 2d8 and choose the best of those two rolls for the amount of damage healed (meaning if he rolled a 3 and a 7, he would pick the 7).
My two cents: very good moves. My tweaks and thoughts are below. Good luck! Making stuff for dungoen world is trickier than it first appears.
BAKUNAWA’S PHEREMONES
When you have shapeshifted into the form of Bakunawa and spend one hold to emit your pheromones, roll + CHA.
* On a 10+, everyone in the general area sees a vision with a theme of your choice.
* On a 7-9 everyone in the general area sees a vision with a theme of the GM’s choice.
Themes: Fear, Love, Greed, Delight, Confusion, Danger, Safety, Elves, Dwarves, Trolls, etc
ARCANE MUSHROOMS (three uses)
(Tweaks: what they said 😉 haha)
And a badly made bonus move for if you decide you do want to make it a Puck-specific(I love the name and the reference :P) ability.
When Puck goes to gather and prepare arcane mushrooms from the far reaches of the desert, or any other place they would be available in abundance, roll+WIS.
On a 10+, the mushrooms are of a superior variety. Take +1 to rolling when used. On a 7-9, the mushrooms are of a inferior variety. Take -1 to rolling when used.
On a miss here, Puck is interrupted in his task, the mushrooms poison the party, the mushrooms come alive and eat him, he finds no mushrooms and takes 1d4 damage.
Also: I would think it would be ‘far reaches of the forest’. Unless they’re super duper special shrooms that grow in the desert. Good luck man.
Joe Bryant
Harrison s I really love the “theme” idea for the Pheromone move, and the focus on Player VS GM decision. I guess I just have to decide whether I want the players to have leeway with deciding the nature of the illusions. As I look back at the first draft, the 7-9 result may have been worded in a way that sounds too negative, when a 7-9 should still be a success in some way.
Mushroom gathering: Really like this! If they find themselves in a situation to get more, totally using this.