Weird Potions! Give me your best! They can be useful of course, but weird, weak and mostly useless are good too.

Weird Potions! Give me your best! They can be useful of course, but weird, weak and mostly useless are good too.

Weird Potions! Give me your best! They can be useful of course, but weird, weak and mostly useless are good too.

I’ll start:

Tooth Tonic: This potion tastes chalky and smells like saliva. Within a couple of weeks after imbibing, the drinker grows a new tooth. No guarantees where the tooth will come in, and no refunds! (Todurk’s Tooth Tonic Inc. not responsible for pain and suffering due to teeth growing from sensitive or unwanted areas. If you need a tooth removed, please consult your dentist. Side effects may include: headaches, teething pain, shifting of bodily features to accommodate new tooth growth, and lack of appetite.)

22 thoughts on “Weird Potions! Give me your best! They can be useful of course, but weird, weak and mostly useless are good too.”

  1. Hi Mike! Glad you are liking the tips. Nice to meet you. 🙂

    Here’s another:

    The Better Half: Due to weak ingredients, this potion of disguise only transforms half of you. You decide what half. Still useful if you have partial cover, such as a pulpit or countertop to stand behind

  2. Brightheart Potion: Until the next dawn, undead in range will attack you first over a better target.

    Dimheart Potion: Until the next dawn, undead will ignore you as long as you do not attack them.

    Troll Blood: Consider this 1 ration. The bottle will refill over the span of a week if so much as a drop is left over. Drink it too often and a half-grown troll will burst out from your body, killing you outright.

    Dwarven Remedy: Any illness you are currently suffering is cured. Take 1d4 damage to your liver and become so drunk you can barely function. Some time in the next week the illness returns.

  3. Sage’s Brew: a bitter, thick syrup that inevitably results in nausea and vomiting, followed by an 8 hour odyssey of altered perception, insights of the cosmos, and self discovery.

    When you drink the Sage’s Brew, say what you hope to learn and roll 2d6. *On a 10+, you learn the truth you desire. *On a 7-9, you learn the truth but are Confused (-1 WIS) until you can sleep on it. Take +1 forward when acting on the truth you sought. In addition, tell the GM something you learned about yourself that was previously unknown.

  4. Sehrini’s Seeing Spirits: One sip of this strong tasting magical alcohol and you’re guaranteed to see around corners! You’ll see all kinds of things you couldn’t see before!

    The imbiber’s eyes grow out of his face on long fleshy stalks which can stretch out to peer around corners and up over ledges. Of course, stretching them too far is painful, and they would be much more easily detached in this state. The stalks cannot be retracted for the duration of the effect, and the sight of the drinker is hideous to behold.

  5. Hair of the dog – Drinking this potion immediately alleviates your pain, but you also sprout the coat of a common cur.

    Blood of my blood – When someone drinks this potion mixed with a drop of your blood, you form an uncanny bond. As they partake of your blood and strength, they take +1 forward but also take the next 3 damage that would be dealt to you.

  6. Potion of Obfuscation: Drinking this will allow you to conceal any information you desire from even the most talented of interrogators, all while never telling a lie. Your vocabulary skills are in another league and your wordplay is the stuff of legend. Unfortunately, when the potion wears off you will not be able to retrace your mental steps well enough to maintain the sound nature of spun yarns.

    A tiny one liner is sprawled along the base of the lable: Use me in a pinch, get yourself out of a jam, stick around and they’ll know, beware a kick in the can!

  7. Marques Jordan Excellent! I have another one as well:

    Potion of Darkvision: Guaranteed to let you see in the dark!

    This potion gives off a faint lumescence when shaken. It tastes like mushroom and smells like rain. When imbibed, the drinker’s eyeballs begin to itch, and will glow brightly for the duration. These eye beams are like the light from a strangely colored hooded lantern, and are reminiscent of bioluminescent creatures of the deep seas and caves. The only way to turn it off is to close your eyes, or cover them!

    Alternately you could call it a Potion of Lightvision.

  8. Perfect Pitch Potion: You can alter your voice for a while, allowing you to disguise how you sound. Although, now, you have a peculiar, prominent, penchant for alliteration. 

  9. Btw Mike Wice, with the blood potion I thought it could be more risky. You can get +X forward but you take 3X (or some multiple) next damage per drink. The more you drink of your brother, the more you might pay. sure it sounds like a great glass cannon and tank combo, but what if the GM has one orc go after the buffed up paladin AND another after the mage he drank from? If the dice run well, the pally might put the stomp on the whole gang or, for bad rolls, he will get nuked to death by the divide and conquer.

  10. Alright, think I’ll go for useful potions today.

    Ulua’s Sky Water: Tastes like blueberry bubblegum. Grants the ability to breathe under water, but not on land, for one hour.

    Duan’s Dwarven Particular: Tastes like metal. The drinker grows a full beard in moments. If they shave, it will grow back in a day.

    Yak-Yak’s Yodeller’s Ale: Tastes like green tea. The drinker’s voice is loud and can travel great distances. Deafens those stood next to them.

    Hutchen’s Righteous Fury: Tastes like honey. Gives the drinker enough courage and anger to attack their greatest foe. Does not give the strength to succeed.

    Yak-Yak’s Tongue Twister: Tastes like lemonade. Grants the ability to speak the language of the first person the drinker touches, but not their own, for one hour.

    Nosdre’s Distant Past: Tastes like old carrots. A traumatic experience is softened, though still clearly remembered. The drinker can start to move on in life, if they were not already.

    Wiccem’s White Witch: Tastes like chicken. If the drinker has the potential to cast spells, they can for one hour, without much control.

    Maskon’s Taste of Death: Tastes like pepper. Grants the ability to see through other’s skin right to the bone, without control, until cured.

    Ulua’s Whistle Stop: Tastes like spring water. The effects of a potion are flushed from the drinker’s system. Immediately.

    Nosdre’s Absolute Now: Tastes like burned sprouts. The drinker sets to work on a project, or begins training. The effect lasts for ten minutes.

    Rulco’s Welcoming Half: Tastes like rose petals. If the drinker has elvish blood, they will glow green until the next dawn.

    Maskon’s Mastery of Life: Tastes like curry powder. Grants the ability to see the general level of health and wellbeing of creatures, for as long as they can hold their breath.

    Yak-Yak’s Ice Breaker: Tastes like creamy coffee. The drinker’s voice sounds friendly, and they slowly take on the accent of those around them, for one week. 

    Nosdre’s Perfect Future: Tastes like boiled cabbage. The drinker sees their future just as they want it, if they were unsure before, they see life with renewed vigour.

  11. Shearer’s Quaff – “Pull the wool” over your mark’s eyes when you pour this into their drink. The imbiber forms a bond with the next person they have a friendly conversation with for quite a while.

    The imbiber gains the bond: “You want _______ to be part of your life.”

  12. Haha, well it lasts “quite a while”, I didn’t mean permanent. The idea was to have this charm like potion be used more subtly. Players can use it to form an additional bond and create some interesting roleplaying opportunities or use it to make an NPC friendlier but requires some stealth.

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