Hello Everybody.

Hello Everybody.

Hello Everybody. I’m new here but really love DW. I’m fairly new to dungeon world but am currently running two campaigns and decided to try my hand at making a class. It’s currently in it’s very early stages, but I wanted some feedback on what I have so far. Thanks. I’ve pasted the information below.

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They say wars are won by soldiers, but they have what that really means. They say it, but they don’t understand. But you do. 

No matter what colors you wear, you’re a soldier. You’ve seen the clash of armies and smelled the rank stench of death. You’ve seen friends and foe alike hewn down. You’ve sacrificed more than they can possibly understand, for reasons they can’t possibly comprehend. You are the line between your foes and everything you hold dear. While many have broken, you are still strong, be it for your country, for honor, or for glory. War has changed you for good or for ill, but now, you are the master of it. You are the Soldier. 

Need a better Description etc

Starting Moves

Steely Determination v1

Discipline v1

Your war stories may be known fair and wide or by a privileged few, but you’re known for your expertise and hardiness on the field of battle as well as your unique . Choose a battlefield discipline from the ones provided. 

(Combat specializations here?)

Discipline of the Blade

When you deal damage with a bladed weapon after a hack and slash, roll d8+1 instead of a 2d4.

Discipline of the Shield 

When you successfully mitigate an attack with your armor or shield, you gain +2 ongoing against that enemy or threat. 

Discipline of the Arrow

When you volley, your damage ignores armor. 

OR

(Combat specializations here?)

 Discipline of the Warrior

When your hit points reach 0, you call upon reserves of strength beyond any normal man. Regain 4 hit points. May be used only once per day. 

Or

When calculating your maximum health, you gain 10+constitution instead of 8+constitution. 

Discipline of the Leader

When you engage in a combat situation similar to past experiences you may choose to roll hack and slash or defy danger with +WIS, but you must tell the GM about the original experience that gives you this knowledge in as much detail as they would like.

Discipline of the Marksman

Your battle experience allows you to dodge projectiles with ease. When defying danger against projectiles, add your DEX and your WIS to the roll. 

Or

When you study an opponent for a moment, even in the heat of battle, your next volley against that target automatically hits. 

*split these two into disciplines and specializations? (i.e Specialization of the Archer, the Defender, the Swordsman)

Discipline and Combat Specialization v1

Your war stories may be known fair and wide or by a privileged few, but you’re known for your expertise and hardiness on the field of battle as well as your unique fighting style. Choose a battlefield discipline and a Combat Specialization from the ones provided. 

Advanced Moves:

Multiclass Move: Uncommon Strength

You may take the fighter’s Bend Bars, Lift Gates advanced move on level up instead of a Soldier advanced move.

Bend Bars, Lift Gats

When you use pure strength to destroy an inanimate obstacle, roll+Str. ✴On a 10+, choose

3. ✴On a 7-9 choose 2.

• It doesn’t take a very long time

• Nothing of value is damaged

• It doesn’t make an inordinate amount of noise

• You can fix the thing again without a lot of effort

Multiclass Move: Outnumbered, but not Outmatched

You may take the thief‘s Underdog  advanced move on level up instead of a Soldier advanced move.

Underdog

When you’re outnumbered, you have +1 armor.

Multiclass Move: Soldier of the Wilds

Your years of campaigning have made you adept at tracking. You may take the ranger’s Hunt and Track starting move instead of a Soldier advanced move.

Hunt and Track (Wis)

When you follow a trail of clues left behind by passing creatures, roll+WIS. ✴On a 7+, you

follow the creature’s trail until there’s a significant change in its direction or mode of travel.

✴On a 10+, you also choose 1:

• Gain a useful bit of information about your quarry, the GM will tell you what

• Determine what caused the trail to end

Seen it All v1

You have seen it all, haven’t you? You are immune to all forms of fear and social manipulation.   

Quarter Master v1

When you spend several hours to use your cooking kit to cook from scratch, you never use up rations and use this alternate penalty list. 

• Barren landscape

• Unclean water

• Distractions

Cooking Kit: 

This handy kit contains whatever a skilled chef might need to satisfy the tastes and hunger of a diverse adventuring party. When you spend several hours preparing a meal with your cooking kit for your company, roll+WIS. On a 10+, you use one ration to feed your entire party for a day and everyone gains 1 preperation. On a 7-9, you feed your entire party with one ration.  On a miss, the food spoils or becomes otherwise inedible, everyone marks off a ration. For every tricky situation that applies, subtract 1 from your roll result. 

• Impending danger

• Wet Weather

• Distractions

Strategist v1

When you have a moment to study an impending combat situation, roll+WIS. On a 10+ you gain 3 preparation to be used throughout the battle on one roll or in any configuration. On a 7-9, you gain 1. On a miss, you take -1 on your next roll.

5 thoughts on “Hello Everybody.”

  1. Welcome to the Tavern, Harrison s.  

    A few immediate observations: 

    – You seem to doing something that a lot of new playbook authors do: making moves that focus on buffs and numbers rather than seriously engaging with the fiction.  Based on the description you wrote, you’ve got something interesting to say about what it means to be The Soldier.  Sacrifice and loss and holding the line and all that.  *Make the core moves of the playbook about that*, not about dealing more damage or weapon specialization. 

    – I’d also argue that the interesting thing about The Soldier (as opposed to the fighter) is the element of teamwork, and camaraderie, and having your fellow soldiers’ backs even if you can’t stand them.  And the drill and monotony punctuated by sheer gut-wrenching terror.

    – Some of the advanced moves start moving in that direction. I like where you’re going with Quarter Master, but it needs to be fleshed out some.  

    – It’s usually better to say something like “You never need to defy danger because of fear or social manipulation” than to say you’re outright immune to it.  Also, depending on the game, ignoring fear and social manipulation is pretty dang potent.  I’d be more inclined to treat a miss as a 7-9, with a level 6+ move that lets you skip rolling.

    – +1 forward is a good, solid bonus.  +1 ongoing is a major bonus. +2 forward is a huge bonus, and +2 ongoing is broken-good bonus.

    – Folks sometimes over-advise that you avoid +1 forward/ongoing bonuses because “bonuses are boring.” I think they’re valuable, but you should try to tie them to the fiction and/or the themes.  Like the barbarian’s +1 forward against a leader’s followers when they’ve shown the leader up.  Or the fighter’s +1 to discern realities but only in a fight.  Those add flavor and encourage certain behaviors. Nothing wrong with that!

    – When writing moves, less is more. Try to imply the background of a move rather than stating it. Look at Discipline & Combat Specialization and Discipline of the Marksman.  The first sentence of those moves don’t actually add anything to the move except more words to parse. The best moves evoke a character’s abilities and tendencies through their name, their trigger, and their possible outcomes rather than extra “fluff.”

    Ultimately, though:

    1) Figure out exactly what you want this playbook to be about.  Come up with 2-3 strong, interesting themes.

    2) Make the core moves of the playbook show off those themes through fictional positioning (rather than just numbers).  

    3) Get those worked out, then move on to the advanced moves.

  3. Thank you very much for the feedback. that will help a lot. I guess I did get hung up with the individual numbers mechanics. In general, I was trying to make a more flexible character than the base classes (hence choosing specializations and Disciplines), but at the same time that goes slightly against the design of the dungeon world classes, as a single class is one archetype pretty much. As everything is so specialized, it would even be apt to put together a class for each hero (which I guess is where compendium classes come in) if it wasn’t so much work. (Though I believe Adam Koebul put together the Immolater for a specific player). So I guess the question is, should I give up my quest for a more flexible class? I mean dungeon world in general is  incredibly flexible to the point that every hero feels different.  

  4. What comes to mind is the structure of character creation in uncharted worlds. 

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNUl5ikjm0U

    It would probably would be a ton of work to get so many choices together for dungeon world, but it might work with the system. As I have not contributed to the kick-starter I will be unable to make direct comparisons, but they are both based off the apocalypse world engine, so that helps. Throw me some more of your thoughts when you have time 🙂

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