Hi fellow Dungeon World-ers. I have been hard at work creating drafts for the specialist casters based on the old Dungeons and Dragons spell schools. I present to you the draft of The Conjuror https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxMTapYQpw-meFF6cFg1dmpQVjA/edit?usp=sharing
Please let me know your thoughts and feedback. Thank you very much. Stay tuned for the others! And if you missed it, here is the post of the Spectrumancer (Illusion School):
https://plus.google.com/110641367856269006029/posts/c35zY3zdoKW
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxMTapYQpw-meFF6cFg1dmpQVjA/edit?usp=sharing
Looks fun! I’d play it.
One raised eyebrow FTW.
Pamela Collins Nathan Roberts Thanks. I have drafts of spellcasters for each spell school except Necromancy so far. Any feedback on these is greatly appreciated 🙂
I have a suggestion for the Just the Thing move’s 7-9 result, as a -1 forward can feel a bit dull. On a 7-9, you can either get something similar immediately or spend some time to find exactly what you’re looking for.
The something similar I took from Apocalypse World’s The Agent playbook. Honestly I preferred getting a 7-9 to a 10+, because it was fun to see what I’d be given.
ell975 Thanks!
Per your request, Mike, here’s a detailed critique. In general, I think there are some really good ideas in here but some of them are so over-the-top game changing that I think they need dialing down. Also, a fair number of them feel incomplete or shorthand.
As always… this is just my $0.02, take it or leave it as you will. Cheers!
Look: Love love love “One Raised Eyebrow.” Recommend adding something like “Fancy formal robes” (or something else implying a tuxedo).
Is This Yours? – the 7-9 doesn’t feel right. I think it’s a disconnect between the name of the move and the implication that on a 10+ you might snag it and not reveal that you did so, and/or that on a 7-9 they notice that you’ve got it but the move name implies that you’d show that off anyhow!
Personally, I like the idea that you can only snag something if no one’s paying any attention to it. How about something like… “When you cast a subtle spell to snag something that no one else is paying attention to, roll +INT (or maybe +DEX?). On a 10+, you somehow produce the object from a hat, bag, sleeve, or behind someone’s ear. On a 7-9, the spell is set but someone turns their attention to your or the object right before you do it. You’ll need a distraction to pull it off.”
Conjuring – A couple issues. One, I don’t like the name. “Conjure” means to bring or call or produce, implying that you are drawing something to you. This move is about moving something away. Which, honestly, I’m not even sure is part of the conjurer’s baliwick. If you think it is, I’d recommend renaming. Something like Shell Game or Sleight of Reality?
Two: I think you might need to limit what items you can move and where you can put it. Cuz right now, I could move a knife that I’m holding to be poking out of someone’s eye. Or throat. Or whatever. Or touch 2-ton iron door and make it appear over the dwarf’s head. I’m not normally worried about balance in DW, but this just seems too much.
In addition to putting some normal limits on it, you might consider adding a “pick 2” of things you can’t do this to: iron, lead, wood, living things, holy symbols, magic items, etc. Maybe. That’s mostly for flavor, and if you did it here you’d probably want it on Is This Yours as well.
Conjure Creature – personally, I’d rename this Summoning. I definitely like where you’re going with this one, but I think you should tighten up the language. Also, consider making the choices broader and maybe a little more parallel. Like: []The Elements (fire, air, earth, water) []Forces of Nature []Angels []Demons []The Dead []Chaos []Order.
For wording, here’s what I used my fantasy heartbreaker:
When you summon a spirit to manifest before you, roll 2d6 and add…
+1 if the spirit is already present (just not manifest)
+1 if your summons involves something thematically linked to the spirit
+1 if you wield an arcane connection to the spirit (e.g. the bones of a ghost)
+1 if you speak the spirit’s true name
On a hit, the spirit manifests before you and hold command over it. On a 7-9, hold 2 command. On a 10+, hold 3 command. While you hold command, the spirit cannot leave or dissipate without your permission, nor can it take any hostile action against you or others. You may spend your command 1 for 1 to:
– Compel the spirit (allowing you to manipulate it into doing what you want)
– Wrack the spirit with pain and suffering
– Banish the spirit for at least a night and a day
The idea is that the sorcerer can use this move to summon a spirit to attend him, and the spell gives him leverage over the spirit, which he can then use to manipulate it (in DW, using Parlay). Of course, I’m going for a much grimmer, more mythical approach to trafficking with spirits. You might be looking for something more like the old summon monster spells.
Phase Jump – assuming you want teleportation to be part of the conjurer’s schtick, I like this move. My only quibble is the “shimmer.” Maybe I’d prefer a puff of smoke, or an extremely subtle “he was just standing here!” approach.
Just the Thing – What ell975 said.
Portable Hole – Load 4 vs a person (who might be carrying Load 10) seems like a weird distinction. Could you just say “You create a portable hole from a piece of cloth no wider than 5′ on a side. The hole is an extradimensional space 5′ deep that remains intact when you roll up the cloth.” Sothing like that.
Teleport – I love the concept, but the move seems only half-written. What happens on a 7-9?
Elseport – I think you’ve got to limit this somehow. “Outer space,” “Hell,” “Through Death’s Black Gates,” and “Into a Volcano” are basically 1-shot kills at 4 words or less. Yeah, I’ve got to get a piece of them, and I might miss the roll, but it’s just _so_ potentially lethal. I don’t need their permission and I don’t need to see them? I’d be the worlds single greatest assassin. My existence would shape cultures. (Also: as with teleport, the move is half written.)
A Quiet Place – Can I always access this place? From anywhere? Without a roll? If so, it fundamentally alters the nature of a dungeon delve or other exploration in a dangerous place. Sure, bad stuff might still happen (like extradimensional predators, or the site you emerge in being overrun by baddies), but without a roll it basically makes the question of whether to Make Camp only a question of time. Dislike. I’d prefer there to be some inherent risk in using this. Less, perhaps, than camping openly in a dungeon. But some spelled-out risk of time warping, drawing the attention of extradimensional raiders, etc.
The Call – I had to read it 3-4 times to get the gist of the move. I think it’d be best split into 2 or even 3 moves. E.g.:
– Word of Recall – when you spend 100 coin in materials and inscribe an area with arcane runes, designate a word of recall. At any point in the future, as long as the runes remain intact, you can utter the word of recall to teleport yourself and/or anyone you touch (and anyone touching them) to the inscribed area. When you do, roll +INT. On a 10+, it works as desired and the runes remain intact. On a 7-9, it works but the runes are erased. On a miss, the runes are erased and the spell leaves something behind or takes something unwanted with it.
–Instant Summons – when you mark an object with your personal sigil, you can use Is This Yours on it from any distance and without being able to see it. Only one such object can bear your personal sigil at a time.
–Succor – when you mark an object with your personal sigil, you know immediately when anyone who bears the object speaks your name. You can quickly scry on that area and, if desired, immediately teleport to the bearer’s side. Only one such object can bear your personal sigil at a time.
Someone Else’s Lunch – compared to other moves, this seems downright tawdry. I guess I can see the value, but I doubt I’d ever take it. Also: the limit of “rations equal to your level” is meaningless without a roll, a cost, or a time limit.
In Your Pocket? – Nice. Maybe also: you can teleport a thing into someone else’s pocket. Lots of versatility there.
Ripsplinch – My immediate thought was “why would I take this instead of Elseport?” But then I realized it didn’t require that you have something of the target’s. So, yeah… it’s a good idea. I think it could be cleaner.
Maybe something like this: When you create a chaotic space-time singularity, roll +INT. On a hit, the singularity appears and inflicts 2d6 damage (area, messy, ignores armor). On a 7-9, pick one: it causes serious, unwanted colateral damage // it creates a lasting zone of temporal flux // take -1 ongoing until you make camp.
Bag of Holding – any reason not to just use the text for a Bag of Holding from the book?
Seclusium – same concerns as A Quiet Place. I’d recommend making the move just enhance the pocket dimension you create with a Quiet Place, possibly giving the player a list of choices (magical servants; protection from scrying; luxurious & spacious accomodations; portals to elsewhere; a library; etc.).
Gate – not sure about it requiring Teleport and Elsewhere. As for the effect, I’d recommend that on a 10+ it opens where you want and remains open for as long as you choose. On a 7-9, the gate opens where you want but either starts to collapse too soon or remains open longer than you desired, GM’s call.
Astral Ark – seems half-written. I like the concept, though. Basically, you can use Teleport on a vehicle or building and anyone it contains. Yes?
I Don’t Know Where It Comes From – is awesome. Maybe for the 7-9 result, give the GM a choice between “it’s not exactly what you wanted” or “it comes with strings attached”?
Savage Summons – huh? Do you mean +1d8 damage? As opposed to just 1d8 damage? Because I’d assume that they do damage as per the monster creation guidelines otherwise.
Jeremy Strandberg Thank you so very much for the well thought out feedback. I was away this weekend on business so just now saw your reply. Some of the moves are half written yes (my apologies, it is a draft). I sincerely appreciate your help. I’ll get a new version worked up and share it soon.
Jeremy Strandberg As a change to Conjuring, how do you feel about this name and clarification/limitation?
Shell Game (Int)
When you move an item or small animal you are currently holding in your hand from a nearby space to another unobstructed nearby space within line of sight, roll+INT. On a 10+ you move it where you want. On a 7-9 it gets there, but there is a complication. Note that merely touching the item does not work, the item must be held aloft by the caster’s own strength.
also, as a limit to Elseport, how about…
[ ] Elseport
Teleport someone who you have a piece of (hair, blood, etc) to a location in which you have previously slept described in words per level and roll+INT. On a 10+ they arrive where you wanted. On a 7-9 they arrive somewhere nearby or in a similar place.
for “Bag of Holding” how about making it a shorthand version of the bag in the book, which is an upgraded version of “Just the Thing”
[ ] Packrat
Requires Just The Thing
You may add any number of items to your bag and choose not to increase your load. You may only use Just The Thing to retrieve any item stored in this manner.
Note that this does require a roll and on a 7-9 you may not get what you want. Maybe on a fail you pull an extradimensional gremlin out, or your bag temporarily turns into a bag of devouring if you have an exceptionally evil GM.
For the Conjured Creature, I was thinking it would be used more like a Druid’s forms, spending hold to command the creature to use a move. However, using the monster creation rules is not a bad idea. I think I would need to set up a new page with costs for various monster features probably, and a certain amount of points to spend to build the creature perhaps? Otherwise I worry everyone will always summon a huge (16 hp) magically armored (5 Armor) creature with bd12+3 damage with no discernable anatomy (+4hp) or something similar. I’ll post something once I have time to digest it a bit.
Shell Game now seems a little wordy to me. How about…
Shell Game (Int)
When you hold something in your hand and slip it through the folds of space, you can move it instantly to any unoccupied space you can see. When you do, roll +INT. On a 10+, it goes right where you want it. On a 7-9, you move it but there’s a complication.
Regarding Elseport… yeah, that might do it. If you go with “somewhere you’ve slept,” I don’t think you need to you describe it in words equal to your level or less.
It still seems a bit over-the-top to me. I think it’s mostly the fact that I can just fling someone from one side of the world to a different side of the world, and if I have a lock of their hair I can do it with impunity.
Hmmm… how about this?
Elseport – If you hold a part of someone (a lock of their hair, their blood, etc.) you can teleport them to or from your presence. If teleporting them from your presence, the destination must be a place you have been. When you teleport someone with this move, roll +INT. On a 10+, it works as you describe. On a 7-9, it works but the GM can introduce a cost, complication, or twist. No matter the result, your connection to them is destroyed.
For Bag of Holding / Packrat, yeah… I like where you’re going with that. Maybe adjust the wording? Like…
“When you put something in your bag, you can choose to drop it in an extradimensional spot. It has weight 0. You can retrieve anything you’ve put in this space, but must use Just the Thing to do so.”
(I don’t think you need to tell the GM what might happen on a miss.)
Tightening words up on Elseport could take it to:
[ ] Elseport
If you hold a part of someone (a lock of their hair, their blood, etc.) you can teleport them to a place you have been. When you teleport someone with this move, roll +INT. On a 10+, it works as you describe. On a 7-9, it works but the GM can introduce a cost, complication, or twist. No matter the result, your connection to them is destroyed.
Since where you are now is somewhere you have “been” as well.
Also, bear in mind that the GM should definitely be introducing some SERIOUS badness on a fail for these moves. Like “Sure you teleport the big bad guy across the country, but you get sucked in with him. Alone.”
For Conjured Creature, it sounds like you’re going for more of Summon Monster X spell than a Calling spell. Cool. In that case, maybe use the Animate Dead spell as a model? You summon a creature with +1 in all stats that can use the basic moves, and maybe pick from a list of extras (tags, special moves, qualities, etc.).
With Elseport, my intent with the “to you or away from you” bit was to make it more of an onscreen move. Either you use it to bring someone to you (initiating an encounter) or you use it to send someone away from the current scene to somewhere else (perhaps to save them, perhaps to banish them, perhaps to imprison them).
Being able to to use it on someone offscreen to send them somewhere offscreen… it just feels wrong to me. I hear you with the serious badness on a miss, but a move where we only see the impact on a miss feels very out of place.
Honestly, I like the idea of biting off more than you can chew by summoning something crazy and having it fail. I am still trying to decide to go with the “Choose options” route or “summon a being that is of this type and hope you can retain control of it” route.
Thanks Christopher Grau it isn’t quite finished yet, but I have 8 total caster classes in the works. Currently I am working with an artist to create cover art for each class and once that is finished I’ll have them all available on DriveThruRpg.
I’ll send you some links once they are posted. Thanks very much!