So Beguiler went over well enough and I got a lot of useful critique, so I’m gonna throw you guys another class I’m working on. This is the Punk, my response to noticing that most +Dex classes are calm, precise professionals and that there are very few wild, impulsive killers with little respect for life. Its a split-requirement class, and you can either spec into high speed through +Dex or criminal underworld influences through +Cha.
http://www.mediafire.com/?py5wbaas44b1cwy
As usual, critique is deeply appreciated. Unlike the Beguiler, the Punk isn’t quite ready for primetime, and is formatted in plain text.
Here we go. Hopefully less schizo this time
Upbringing
1.Lone Wolf seems a little boring/underpowered compared to the others
Moves
Eat My dust
2.”at least twice as fast” seems over numerated maybe “significantly faster” would be better
3.The range changing option confuses me. Were you trying for “you get inside your opponents reach, Do not enter melee with them” ?
Hey I’m talking to you
4.I feel there should be more incentive to use this move. Compare the barbarians What are you waiting for?
You’re too slow
5. you could make this “All weapons you wield and your own body have the precise tag” or you could encourage more description with something like “When you use your superior speed and agility to attack, you may use +DEX instead of +STR” (stupid G+ and obsession with +’s)
No Regrets
6. Best thing ever Peter Goderie
One jump ahead of the lawman
7.Reminds me of one of the dashing hero moves, which I can’t find right now so no comment
Turn on the ol charm
8. hehe That Particular Favor hehe. Has a 6- result which is v rare except in cases like “10+ choose 3, 7-9 choose 2, 6- choose 1” and similar
Free Running
9. Maybe 10+ choose 1, 7-9 choose 2?
Now It’s my turn
10. gain 2d6 hit points and a debility? cos otherwise you could heal away all the damage from the hit that made you spit blood
Daniel Kellett
1. I was shooting for something a little more reliable, although compared to “knows every gang sign ever” and “is owed a favor from a mafia don” there isn’t much going on comparatively. It could use more attention.
2. Yeah I totally agree, I’m gonna rewrite that one to be a little more nebulous. God this is the only system I can think of where “nah that needs to be less detailed” is a legitimate concern.
3. Mechanically speaking it means you can slide in under a spear to get at sword range, or get within sword range to get at knife range without Defy Danger.
4. You know what you’re right. There’s no “hey buddy I’m going to bust every bone you have, then I’m dealing with your little crew there” factor. Right now it’s more “over here, chase me around for a while ok” and thats not really in the spirit of the class.
5. I was actually going to go with the Precise tag thing originally, but it’s not really a “precision” class. Maybe something along the lines of “when you attack an opponent and he can’t attack you back” You DID give me the idea of adding a fisticuffs option to the Gear, though, thanks!
6. Funny story, one of the first people I showed the class immediately said “no this is the worst move ever written, you’re enabling people to play impulsive, weird kender. This is a move to be That Guy.” Its highly polarizing, which is kind of cool. The playtester LOVED it though.
7. I’m not super happy with this move as it is, maybe I should look through Dashing Hero to see what move this reminds you of.
8. I actually had to specify that, because otherwise the move goes from “guy who is pretty good at this flirting thing sometimes” to “that creepy guy who keeps trying to start things out of the Book of Erotic Fantasy.” It has a 6- because the 6- specifically keeps the stakes low but still funny, and hey, a 6- still means you can make a Hard Move if you like.
9. I’m pretty happy with the general Free Running mechanic for now, although now that you bring it up I’ll try to figure out if there’s anything I can do to spruce it up a little.
10. The debility is perfect, especially since 1d6 is weak sauce for a 6-10 advance.
Thanks for the feedback, its really helpful. <3
Here’s a preview of my take on a similar idea, the Pirate. They dive around all over the place with Dex (usually on a burning/ sinking ship), infuriate enemies into doing stupid things (a bunch of skills build on +Cha) and have a base skill which makes everything go horribly wrong:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0Bz0lilU7GQ4cOGxub1VOM0pzSGM/edit?usp=sharing
James Hawthorne
I actually backed Pirate World to get at Luncheon World and the new Hireling rules, so I’ve been kind of jealous of some of the Pirate mechanics for a while. I think that they fill the same ecological niche but conceptually they end up diverging quite a bit.
By the way I am so angry at how well Crazy Leap is written that I could scream. It was exactly what I had in mind for One Jump Ahead Of The Lawman but you got to it first.
Haha, sorry Nemo! Feel free to crib it (or bits, or whatever!). I’ve got piles and piles of draft notes for jumpy-style moves, do you fancy a peek? Even if they’re not useable, they might spark an idea.
Also, the Pirate redraft focuses a fair bit more on jumpy-style moves and sliding around while things burn, I’ll pass that on as soon as it’s presentable 🙂
James Hawthorne Oh man that would be awesome! I would love a look behind the scenes.
No problem, I’ll send it over when it’s looking prettier 🙂
I think I love this class; you’ve captured such a perfect feel with the names of the moves.
The one problem I see is that you need one or two more 6-10 advances, right now you’ve got only one that people aren’t going to end up with.
Don Schlaich I also have WAY too many 2-5s, I think beefing a few up and bumping them to 6-10s isnt a bad plan. The problem lies in the low-level feel of the class, after a certain point its hard to really say “this is what a mighty street ruffian does with his spare time.”
(Sorry for dead-threading)
Was looking for a Rogue class to add to my library, and i LOVE this. It’s a really cool change of pace from the physically sneaky thief or the verbally sneaky charlatan. I’d love to help you convert this from plaintext to the DW format (i have 3 different layouts, 1 that’s the old one, 1 that’s the updated one, and 1 that’s the Playkit Plus version). Although, if it’s okay with you, there are some moves i’d like to edit and maybe redo the gear, so as to be a little more universally applicable, instead of a semi-apocalypse world setting.