Last night, I was trying to come up with some custom moves for the climactic scene of today’s #DungeonWorld adventure. What does everyone think of these?
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When you bond the Eye of the Cyclops to Shaman Liri’s staff, roll+DEX. On a 10, choose two. On a 7-9, choose one:
* The eye bonds firmly and will not shake loose during the healing ritual;
* It doesn’t take very long;
* The giant spiders don’t see you there.
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When you call upon the Eye of the Cyclops to heal the LightStone, roll+WIS. On a 10, the stone is healed and your foes banished by the light coming from the newly-restored stone. On a 7-9, choose two:
* You aren’t blinded during the ritual;
* Shaman Liri escapes harm;
* The staff doesn’t explode.
On a miss the ritual fails unless you choose none of he above.
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I’m new to this and I realise that the “Shaman Liri escapes harm” choice/outcome isn’t actually linked to the trigger, it’s just something that can happen in the scene. Is this a bad idea?
Bear in mind, I don’t know the context of the Moves, so I can only provide feedback based on the Moves themselves.
I would change the Eye Binding Move to this:
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When you bind the Eye of the Cyclops to Shaman Liri’s staff, roll+DEX. On a hit (7+), the eye bonds firmly and will not shake loose during the healing ritual. On a 7-9, choose one:
* Binding the eye doesn’t take very long;
* The giant spiders don’t see you there.
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As written, the players must choose “the eye bonds firmly and will not shake loose during the healing ritual” if they want to be successful, right? That means it’s a mandatory choice, and therefore, not really a choice at all. So why not just work it onto the Move’s text? Also, I’m curious about the choice of DEX. It could represent manual dexterity and a “crafting” type skill, but I could see INT being used as well.
As written, your Call Upon the Eye of the Cyclops Move only heals the stone on a 10+. I’m assuming that healing the stone is what the players are trying to achieve, and would therefore be considered a success. The Move only lets the characters succeed on a 10+, as none of the 7-9 options mention anything about healing the stone.Generally, 7-9 results are meant to be successes with complications. It looks like you move is only complications on a 7-9 result. Either specify that the stone is still healed on a 7-9, or change the Call Upon the Eye of the Cyclops Move to something like this:
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When you call upon the Eye of the Cyclops to heal the Light Stone, roll+WIS. On a 10, the stone is healed and your foes banished by the light coming from the newly-restored stone. On a 7-9, choose one or the other.
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Or something like this:
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When you call upon the Eye of the Cyclops to heal the Light Stone, roll+WIS. On a hit (7+), the stone is healed. On a 10+, choose two. On a 7-9, choose one:
* Your foes are banished by the light coming from the newly-restored stone;
* You aren’t blinded during the ritual;
* Shaman Liri escapes harm;
* The staff doesn’t explode.
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I would generally link results directly to the actions the players take to trigger the Move. That being said, I think the “Shaman Liri escapes harm” option is fine.
Good catches. I was rushing. I also notice I was making trouble compulsory, even on a ten Not sure about that. New draft looks like this:
When you bond the eye of the Cyclops to Liri’s staff, roll+DEX. On a 10+, The eye bonds firmly for the ritual (+1 ongoing). On a 7-9, choose one:
* The binding is strong (+1 forward), but the spiders have seen you;
* The spiders don’t see you there, but the binding is hasty (-1 forward).
When you use someone else’s staff to heal the LightStone, roll+WIS. On a 10, the stone is healed and your foes destroyed. On a 7-9, the stone is still healed, but choose one:
* You are blinded during the ritual;
* The spiders drag several folk into the darkness;
* The staff explodes.
On a miss, the ritual fails unless you choose all of the above.
Hmm. The +1 ongoing/+1 forward/-1forward thing is kind of clunky for my tastes. If you’re going to keep the +1 ongoing, I really think you need to specify what the bonus applies to. As written, it seems like the character (and it doesn’t specify who) just gets a blanket +1 ongoing bonus. I think you also need to specify how long the bonus lasts or what causes it to end. Maybe something like this:
When you bind the Eye of the Cyclops to Liri’s staff, roll+DEX. On a hit (7+), the Eye is successfully attached. On a 10+, choose one:
* The bond is firm; +1 ongoing to perform the ritual.
* You don’t attract the spider’s attention.
The way this is worded, on a 10+ the characters either get a bonus, or avoid the spider’s notice; choosing one means you don’t get the other. A 7-9 result gets them neither, meaning they don’t get the bonus, AND the spiders are aroused.
For some reason, I’m not keen about the “spiders drag folk off into the darkness” option for the second move. The result feels too divorced from the action being taken now.
I’ll get the hang of this one day. Luckily, today’s session was postponed so I can take my time rewriting he moves.
The spiders are killed on a 10, so that is the tenuous link to them taking prisoners.
Making custom moves is very much an art and not a science. I’m only suggesting things based on my tastes and how I would do them. That doesn’t mean your moves are wrong, as there is no wrong. Just what you like and what doesn’t fit your tastes.
I get the link between the spiders and the Light Stone now. However that was (obviously) not evident just looking at the move. As I mentioned before, there’s no context here, so it’s difficult to see what you intend for the moves to do, fictionally.
Eye nose. You are helping me see the holes, though.