(I was bored at work, and had forgotten that you could use excel to generate random numbers… so took the digits of pi from the calculator tool, skipped all 7-9 digits, and used that to generate 3 jobs for Dark Heart Of The Dreamer.)
THE PIE JOBS
(Found posted in Raisha’s Bakery, home to the best mincemeat pies in the Twin Parishes, if not all of Dis)
Patron: Gladsong, halfling assassin
Description: Bodyguard Nyx, the Emissary of the Emissary of Night, as she attends the Sanguine Ball in the Laudomia Parish, to discredit the reputation of a rival assassin (Vespula, an unusually intelligent hellwasp swarm) hired to kill her at that event. Forged invitations to the ball will be provided, but if formal attire is required it will come out of your pay.
Reward: 1000 coin per freebooter if Nyx survives the event, with a 500 coin bonus each if nobody discovers you have been hired to protect her.
Patron: Gjof the Ring-Giver
Description: Investigate the nature of an ominous temple in Dis’s newest territories (Just ‘consumed’ and not yet formally incorporated into any Parish)
Reward: Goodwill and karmic blessings (blessings verified and licensed by the Arcadian Parish Trade Guild).
Patron: The Keeper Of The Grey Library
Description: Travel to the plane known only in nightmares as The Red Pit, find the Tower of Woe where a diabloist of unknown name performs blasphemous and unspeakable researches into the native languages of fiends, and bring to the Grey Library any and all scrolls and books you find there.
Reward: Whatever else you find there, and as a friend to the Grey Library, supervised access to the Restricted Vault, including certain forbidden bestiaries and maps of especial interest to freebooters.
Noice. Consider Gladsong’s job in particular heartily stolen.
I am a sucker for any jobs that have anything to do with libraries in Dis.
Some libraries of Dis, then:
– The Tower of the Arcanodaemons, rumored to hold copies of every contract the fiends have ever made, written on human skin.
– The Glass Library, a hauntingly beautiful work of architecture somewhat spoiled by hideously ugly mongrelfolk staff.
– The Arcadian Archive, working tirelessly to preserve the memories of those planes consumed by Dis, under-budgeted, under-staffed.
– The Temple of Helferth, god of Knowledge and Hidden Things, whose books are available to the devout and those who make a ‘token’ donation
– The Book of Sand, a single volume with seemingly infinite pages, currently in the possession of one of the Sultana’s Road Wardens
– The Gray Library, secretive and mysterious, avid collector of typically “forbidden” works