I have made new moves for two new races, the Orc and the Dark Elf.
Can you give me an opinion?
… and sorry for my bad english!
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ORC
Warrior
Your strenght is higher than other races. When you Defy Danger and use your strenght to your advantage, take +1.
becomes:
Violence flows through your veins. While you wield a weapon it gains the forceful and messy tags.
Ranger
When you Hunt and Track, if you want to kill your prey take +1. If you hate your prey, your roll is at least 7.
Druid
When you make a jewel using teeth, feathers or paws of an animal, and you Shapeshift wearing it, take +1 Hold if you take the form of that animal
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DARK ELF
Warrior
When you attack from the darkness your roll is always at least 7+
becomes:
When you attack from the darkness and deal damage, roll twice and take the better damage result.
Wizard
Your magic is the magic of darkness and shadows. Take Darkness from the cleric’s spells. Is a cantrip for you.
Cleric
Your faith has been forged in the darkness. In addition to the domain of your deity you also take the “Murder and Betrayal” domain. Take one additional precept: betrayal.
Thief
When you keep still in deep shadows, enemies never spot you until you make a movement.
becomes:
Your race plays with poisons such as children with dolls. Chose one additional poison form the list. You start with two use of it and five use of your first choice.
OR
Your race plays with poisons such as children with dolls. You know how to use poisons. If you use a poisons in backstab, on a 10+ you can chose to kill your target.
Orc Druid is kinda fiddly as you have to keep track of your amulets. You could also just choose one form and always get the +1
Dark Elf Warrior, I don’t know. If you attack someone in the darkness in meele and he doesn’t see you you wouldn’t be rolling H&S and fighters are really so hot about volleying. Maybe extra damage if you attack from the darkness?
Or could you explain the idea behind the move better?
Having Cleric and Wizard moves be the same is kind of uninteresting. Maybe something related to Spiders on the cleric?
You should also think about the Thief and Poisons – the move right now is good but there is a potential to work even more with poisons which seems a really dark elf like thing.
Uhm, a dark elf thief’s move about poisons is better than now.
A cleric move about spiders sounds better.
Dark Elf Warrior: uhm…extra dmage for attack from darkness? yes, i like it.
Regarding the Orc Druid, the +1 forward becomes +1 hold:
When you make a jewel using teeth, feathers or paws of an animal, and you Shapeshift wearing it, take +1 Hold if you take the form of that animal
I dig the subtle implication here that orc warrior strength is more about survival and bravery than it is violence.
I’d suggest saying that the Dark Elf Cleric’s Deity is also one of “Darkness”, on top of whatever else it might have.