Let’s try this again since the first time people couldn’t access the playbook.
I wrote a playbook for a monk. I’d love to hear any thoughts that people have. Some of the moves are ones I’ve seen elsewhere that I thought were cool and wanted to incorporate into my playbook, so if I borrowed your move thank you.
I’m hoping to play this in my next campaign, so any feedback would be appreciated.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TEqYu2exhgC1j3LDzKl-HpOcI_GZekm3/view?usp=sharing
My 2 cents!
Overall, I really like what you came up with. I’d dare say this is my favorite rendition of the Monk class. It has everything that is staple to the classic chinese shaolin-type monk trope without implying it HAS to be or that it is at all.
I’d replace the word “Race” with “Background”, as this is what you suggest, a background.
Make sure it is easier to know, in the text appearance itself, when you are talking about a move. For example,
Prodigy
You start with the master of combat move.
Prodigy
You start with the Master of Combat move.
(italic not needed, but minimum upper cases,)
Spirit Shield
While it is sound, I’m never too keen on bookkeeping. It is essentially the same as gaining a Debility to WIS, so I’d go with that. Furthermore, I makes sense that you can’t use this if you already got the Debility since you can’t mark it again.
Fists of Steel
Seems wierd to me to roll 2 dice for damage. I’d prefer that it increase my damage dice from d8 to d10.
Didn’t check the advanced move yet, but that’s what popped to my mind on my first surface reading.
Godspeed!
Here’s for the Advanced moves :
Nothing to add except maybe there’s an empty page then followed by spell sheet that you might want to remove from the document 😛
Actually, one thing. You might want to add that you only gain the bonus to armor when wearing no armor.
The move Body of Armor does say that, but not bonus gained from The Way and Body of Steel.
Body of Steel could say:
Increase the bonus to armor of Body of Steel to +2
(or something like that)
Also The Way doesn’t limit the +2 piercing. It means if it is intended that you’d gain this only if unarmed, it should be also stated in the move.
I’d also probably separate the text about attack from Body of Iron and leave only everything related to bonus to armor and move the text about unarmed attacks to the move Body of Air since this move is about unarmed attacks already.
Thanks so much for the feedback. I realized I posted it as a pdf and not the google doc but I did make most of the changes you suggested.