I’m looking at a move I’m creating for a paladin in one my campaigns who was brought back from a brush with death through his deity Malrack. This is my current, and most revised, format for the move. Please give me some feedback on it, as I want to make it a cool part of his character without blowing up the game too much. Thanks đ
‘When you call on Malrack’s power to aid you in one specific way, roll+CHA. On a 10+, he shows forth a mighty miracle through you to accomplish your desire. On a 7-9, the miracle also has negative consequences for you and your surroundings. On a miss, Malrack’s wrath is kindled against you… remember, he is the God of Vengeance as well as Justice.’Â
I’m going for the whole Risk vs Reward of many of the dungeon world moves, in which it can have great benefits but you’ll think twice before using it all the time. Â
I think you’ve got the risk vs reward thing down. Personally, I would make this a “10+, choose X, 7-9, choose Y” type move.
Right now, the “negative consequences for you and your surroundings” is very broad. Which is totally fine, mind. I just find that having a number of options to choose from makes things easier for the GM; sometimes in the heat of the game you come up blank when trying to think of a consequence.
Coming up with a list of consequences would also help define Malrack, making this move feel completely different from other similar moves.
So more specific? And by a “10+, choose X, 7-9, choose Y” type move. do you mean two seperate lists for 10+ and 7-9 or two different numbers of things they can choose from the list, such as ‘choose 3’ for 10+ and choose 1 for 7-9?Â
Also, would we want to list positive consequences as well as negative consequences? Â (such as, choose 2 positiv eand 1 negative, or 1 positive).
I understand I’ll be the only GM to use this move, but there are always times I want those extra options. Thanks for the feedback, and hope you don’t mind my barage of questions đÂ
No problem. As I said before though, this is all just personal preference; what you have above is totally fine and works very well.
You could do a mixed positive and negative list. I find that gets a bit messy though. So either a 10+ choose 2 and 7-9 choose 1 positive or a 10+ choose 1 and 7-9 choose 2 negative list might be better.
Again, you don’t have to go with the more specific list of options. You know what Malrack is like and so can choose appropriate results. But think of it this way; by making the positive and negative effects more specific, you’re allowing other GMs to use the move by “baking in” what this Malrack deity is like. đ
Tell us more about Malrack. He’s about vengeance & justice, yeah? What else? What symbolism does he use? (hammers, blades, blood, blindfolds, scales, etc?)
What does he demand of his followers? What does he demand and expect of his chosen warrior (the Paladin)?
Harrison s Just bouncing off what Jeremy Strandberg wrote, the Paladin already has a move that allows them to commit to a quest and request certain boons which come with behavioural requirements to maintain.Â
You could reimplement that idea into your move with something like:
When you call on Malrack’s power to aid you in one specific way, roll+CHA. On a miss, Malrack becomes displeased with your demands and places a terrible geas upon you. On a 7-9, his aid is begrudging, the geas is less severe but must still  be fulfilled. On a 10+, Malrack is generous this day, he shows forth a mighty miracle through which you accomplish your desire. Remember, Malrak is the God of Vengeance as well as Justice, ignore his geas at your own peril…
Okay, I’m on a trip so it’s taken me a little while to respond what with spotty internet and everything. Thanks for the responses.
To start, we know Malrack is an Orcish diety of the south, and is associated with lightning and a great war axe. In fact, the paladin in question has been called to eradicate the more “barbaric” green skinned orcs of the spires(a mountain range).
Now for incorporating some of these these themes into the move.
I am liking the gaes idea posed by Ari and I may steal their wording for the move.
Jeremy did also pose good questions, so I am thinking Malrack would require consistant sacrifices, and upholding the honor and memory of ancestors. So more of a warriors pride and code, never letting a challenge go unanswered.
‘When you call on Malrack’s power to aid you in one specific way, roll+CHA.
On a 10+, he shows forth a mighty miracle through you to accomplish your desire. On a 7-9, the miracle also has negative consequences for you and your surroundings. On a miss, Malrack’s wrath is kindled against you… remember, he is the God of Vengeance as well as Justice.’
I’ll keep thinking about this, having noble requirements or requiring tribute would be an interesting facet of this.
Some thoughts:
1) The move seems really, really vague and open-ended. I think that’s what you’re going for, right? Basically, dial-a-miracle? Â But I think it might be better to try to narrow that down or least give it some guidance on the scope of what can be done.
2) A couple moves to check out and consider as an alternate structure: Â
 – Elemental Mastery (Druid): swap in your “call on Malrack’s power to aid you in one specific way” trigger, but keep the choose 2/choose 1/uh-oh structure and the fact that you really want all 3 choices.
 – Invoking the Gods of Law (Class Warfare, p 440):  I’d probably go with something like this.  Basically, it’s roll +X, with choose 2/choose 1/displease the gods.  And the choices are:  gods display you publicly as their champion // gods point you towards the greatest source of chaos // gods show you a weakness of chaos in the region.  Swap those choices out for something more Malrackish and you’ve got a solid “champion” move.
3) If you want this to be a “go big” move, make it clear in the trigger than this calling down some serious mojo (e.g. “When you call on Malrack to smite your enemies and scatter them before you…”). Â Then, maybe on a 10+ cool, he does it. Â On a 7-9, he does it, but you can’t use the move until you perform one of the tasks below. Â On a miss, Malrack is displeased and smites you lightning for [b]2d10 damage (ignores armor) and you can’t use this move until you atone by performing one of the tasks below.
 – Slaughter four score barbaric orcs
 – Erect a lasting monument to your ancestors
 – Sacrifice a potent magical artifact to Malrack, to be consumed in fire
 – Bathe Malrack’s altar in the blood of your enemies
 – Defeat a huge and terrifying foe in single combat
Each time you recharge this move by performing one of the tasks above, cross off that task. You can’t use it again.
Great, great ideas. I did in fact get class warfare, also, I have been checking out some of your other work on DW and I really like it. I will revise my move ay and send it back out for more critique đ
Harrison sâ Kudos on using English’s lovely non-gendered singular “their”, keep fighting the good fight!
As the paladin in question, I had an idea; the Wizard’s Ritual is a great example of an open-ended move like this. perhaps the move could take some inspiration from that and be:
When you call upon your deity (Malrack in this case) to perform a miracle, it will happen. However, the GM will give you one or more conditions from the list below to fulfill:
– The prayer/ritual will take hours/days
– The effect will not happen for hours/days
– The effect will be short-lived or incomplete
– Roll +CHA for success
– You will be winded/tired from the exertion
– You must take up another quest vow
This way, it can have a variety of effects, but also have a fitting cost for what the effect is.
Joseph Lopez yeah, that’s really smart. You can add a lot of flavor with the choices, too.  Like:
 – Shatter a monument to a rival deity
 – Spill the blood of a worthy foe
 – Spill your own life-blood, unto the brink of death
 etc
Yeah, let’s make it more specific.
From the ideas given so far, I’m looking for a combination of the ritual move and the ‘go big’ style Jeremy was mentioning.
When you use your divine authority to call upon Malrack for a miracle,tell your GM what you wish to accomplish and Malrack will answer you. However, the GM will tell you what he requires in return for the use of his power.
*Bring an enemy of Malrack to Justice Publicly and with Finality
*Build a shrine to your dead ancestors, and speak with them through the veil of death.
* Sacrifice a part of your soul or body to be consumed as a sacrifice.
In addition, you may replace any current vow in your quest with the vow of honor, but you must keep the vow of honor if you want to call on Malrack’s power.
A miracle can consist of any of the following and more:
*Your immediate foes are struck down by Malrack’s wrath.
*You heal any non-magical wound completely.
*You are lead straight to your greatest desire, as long as it does not conflict with that of Malrack’s will.
*Malrack himself or one of his most trusted servants visits you.
*You are shielded from harm.
Finally, if you do not meet his expectations, his displeasure will come in one of these forms:
*Takes back his gift of life.
*Allows your enemies to take revenge on you.
* Bring you to justice.
*Electricute you.
*Endanger or harm you or your party.
Thoughts?
I like it, although I think letting one of the costs be time could work out well.