Hey new to DWT. I have a few custom classes in the works and this is the first one I wrote. Critiques are welcome!
Hey new to DWT. I have a few custom classes in the works and this is the first one I wrote. Critiques are welcome!
Hey new to DWT. I have a few custom classes in the works and this is the first one I wrote. Critiques are welcome!
Hi, welcome aboard!
One piece of advice I like to give to people designing new material is to think in terms of fiction first. Why is the Nephilim part of the adventuring party? What does he bring to the table, and why? If you can tell us more about the concept, then we can give you some much better feedback to help you make a cool playbook.
There’s a formatting issue that blends names and eye type at the top of the first page. Another one down in the “Bonds” section between the 3rd and 4th bonds.
The ‘alignment’ entries represent things that can give the character XP (prompting the player to play them a certain way) – make them definite particulars. “Ignore a plea for help”, “Perform an act of great kindness without hope of reward”, stuff like that.
What happens on a 7-9 while exiting limbo?
Limbo is a core move that rolls + nothing, requires two rolls, and has the second one at -1. So you’re looking at about a 25% chance of not incurring a hard move. Is that intentional?
Nephilm Smite doesn’t reference a stat, and I’m not sure if it modifies or replaces Hack And Slash. It looks like Hack and Slash with the need to risk danger to deal extra damage on a 10+ removed and extra damage on a miss.
Hex Object : “On a 10+” should probably be the start of a new sentence. Half-Demons are worse at placing hexs than others, in that they can only ever place one…. or they place one on a miss?
Bend Bars, Lift Gates – be careful. This is a core, defining move of the Fighter. You might devalue the Fighter if you take his best move.
Any two level 5 half-demons will look pretty much identical. There are 4 advances for a level 5 character, and they only have access to 5 possible moves. Ditto a level 10 True.
Angelic/Demonic Shape : The move restrictions are pretty intense.
“Hey, Angel-Dude, what do these celestial scripts say?”
“WHAT, YOU THINK I EXIST TO SPOUT LORE UPON YOU!? WHERE ARE THE SICK THINGS THAT NEED TO BE MADE WELL AND THE EVIL THAT NEEDS BE SLAIN!?!”
“Behind this door. That we can open after we unlock it. Which is probably related to that writing all over it. That you should read now.”
“** OFF MORTAL”
“9 damage? That pushes me into the negatives…”
“Make a Last Breath roll then.”
“Wait… haha! I can’t! I guess I’m immortal now! I jump back up and stab them!”
“The dragon sends out a burst of flame, encompassing the orphan prophet.”
“Wait! I just healed him, so I’m close enough to shield him with my body, right?”
“Yeah, I guess you are! Roll Defend.”
“Errrrr, nevermind.”
Divine is spelled with two ‘i’s.
Will a good priest willingly serve the avatar of a demon, or an evil cultist bow to the will of a divine angelic warrior?
will be clearing up the spelling and interpretation errors as well as the alignments and bonds
7-9 on limbo travel gives the -1 forward to limbo travel. will adjust wording, although i am not sure what “not Incurring a hard move” means
nephilim smite is supposed to be used instead of a H&S but with higher risk higher reward. Will adjust wording.
hex object half-demons are supposed to get 1 on 6-
in regards to the forms, its not meant to be a permanent form, but one jumped in and out of during combat situations. so no, you cannot make defends, but you can be more creative with protecting someone than that.
Is last breath really considered a move? and if they really took it literally like that, wouldn’t the GM say “then i guess you’re dead” rather than “oh you’re back up”?
In regards to divine falsehood, you’re essentially lying to them. That’s the “falsehood” part. the roll is to see if they believe you on a more beneficial scale.
seems to me you play far more on the roleplay side than on a combat side of DW, which is what DW is all about, so I’ll take your suggestions seriously.
Piercing +3 is really high for a starting ability.
how high should the piercing be in your opinion?
The Fighter might get two piercing, if he goes out of his way to do so. That’d be the upper limit I’d say. Remember, three piercing means punching through PLATEMAIL. Or all the way through a shield, then through scale mail. 95% of the time it’s essentially Ignoring Armor, which ought be reserved for things like falling a dozen stories, being lit entirely on fire, poisonings….
Peter Johansen is right though – if you spell out what this character is all about our advice might be more focused. I feel like I’m faffing about a bit with my advice since I don’t know the direction you’re trying to go.
I would make piercing one a 2-5 move and piercing two a 6-10. But I would make them part of a list of things that the character could choose in those moves.