14 thoughts on “Alright last bit of spam!”

  5. Love it!  I have a pile of classes for if my player’s characters die (each is entirely unique in the world : there will never be TWO Fighters, even if they’re not alive at the same time) and this one is going in my pile.  I love the bag-o-rats.

    A few things I’d change, take’m or leave’m.  Don’t take the length as criticism.

    Syntax :

    Background, Servant – insert two commas around ‘be it man or beast’

    Look – Body Descriptors – Metallic has two “L”s and is the only word in the section not capitalized.  You might want to look at this section of the core character sheets if you want to be dress-right-dress with the ‘official’ product.  If not, ‘Eyes Descriptors’ needs a colon

    Jury-Rig – ‘On a 10+, It’ probably shouldn’t have “It” capitalized.  There’s an extra comma in the first 7-9 selection.  The one after ‘quirk’ in option two is probably excessive.

    Adapted For Survival – ‘Kobolds can eat anything’ seems like the start of a new sentence, but follows a comma.

    Tastes Like Profit – ‘What is it worth me’ needs a ‘to’

    Rugged Dwelling – The second sentence is two sentences.  I’d replace the first comma with a period and add ‘while hidden’ after ‘do not move’

    Playing Possum, Ocular Patdown,  and Opportunistic Warrior – You reference the move Street Fighter, but you renamed it ‘Secret Kobold Fair Fighting Techniques’ on the move itself (unless I’m way off).  In the first two items you used commas to separate the sub-move name from the description, but in the main move you used a dash.

    Ocular Pat-Down : Both letters of GM are usually capitalized

    SWARM! – There’s an extra comma between ‘bond’ and ‘with’.  The highlighted section cuts off in the middle of the move’s prerequesite (‘that has not damaged you’ should probably be highlighted too)

    Need a Hand? – Consider using ‘well’ instead of ‘good’

    The Underdog – I’d rewrite as either

    ‘Whenever you are at less than half health, take +1 forward against the last thing to hurt you and gain +1 armor’

    or

    ‘Whenever you are at less than half health, take +1 forward and gain +1 armor against the last thing to hurt you’

    I could get either of these from how it’s worded now.

    Greater Dragon Magicks – Adding the word ‘playbook’ after the first ‘wizard’ brings it in line with the way you wrote ‘The Stereotype.’  We know what you mean, but ‘wizard’ by itself could also refer to a PC or NPC.

    There’s an asterisked ‘The rules of bad breathe still apply’ at the bottom of the page, but I don’t see what that’s in reference to in the body of the text.  It looks like there used to be a ‘replaces/requires Bad Breathe’ move that you took out.

    Arbitrary Judgements :

    The third option in Jury-Rig doesn’t push the narrative the way the other two do and seems like the kind of thing you’d want to always pick.  I’d ditch it.

  7. OK, here’s my thoughts.

    this is a pretty solid class, I noticed that one of your 6-10 moves mentions a move called Street Fighter, that doesn’t appear anywhere, perhaps an oversight?

    As a fun suggestion, you should replace ‘Let me Borrow That’ with a more evocative name…one that fits being a kobold. may I suggest You No Take Candle 🙂

    Otherwise, I’m pretty much in agreement with Sean, some small edits for grammar etc. and you’re good to go!

    PS, if I may take the opportunity to be an equally crass spammer for a sec, I’d love to get some detailed Feedback on my Luminary Adept that I posted a couple days or so ago. 🙂

  8. Jay Vee Thanks so much for the editing, it never would have gotten done without you, seriously if there isn’t a red squiggle underneath I assume nothing is wrong. And  Jay ill definitely check it out!

    Though im really conflicted about removing the take a d6 move from Jury Rig, I saw it as kind of like the Wizards -1 to casting move and eventually he has to pick the worse options. But I could see how that could just be boring. Anyone else want to weigh in on that one? Because if not ill probably just remove it.

    Oh and Street Fighter was originally the name of Secret Kobold Fighting Techniques. 

  9. Okay here is the Pre-Final Release copy! There are 2 possible changes that will happen at this point, barring something being pointed out to me. 

    https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B7SuiGNRZkTpRWk3UkN3U09ERGM/edit

    Now I am wondering if you folks prefer the 3 option descriptors that are in the pre-release or the original way I did it.

    Eyes Descriptors Kind, Shifty, Sad, Lonely, Hopeful, Wild

    Clothing Descriptors: Worn, Fancy, Tacky, Uniform

    Body Descriptors: Frail, Scarred, Smooth, Rough, Metallic

    Also the take a D6 option and replace or just remove it and have 2 options.

  10. More notifications! Here is what I settles on for the looks 

    Shifty Eyes, Kind Eyes, Sad Eyes

    Ragged Clothes, Stolen Clothes, or Uniform

    Frail Body, Scarred Body, or Metallic Scales

  14. More syntaxial comments :

    Jury-Rig : There’s an ” Its ” that should be an ” it’s ” and an extra comma in the first option.  “Works” should be singular (no s) in the second option.

    Secret Fighting Techniques – Some of the names have each major word capitalized, some don’t.

    Rugged Dwelling – You don’t need any commas in this one (sorry, should have said that in my last post when I recommended switching the sentence structure)

    SWARM!  – No comma needed after ‘successfully’

    Opportunistic Warrior still references Street Fighter

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