I’m working on the alpha version of a Digimon Adventure based class, and would like to hear what you guys think of it. Here is the link to “The Destined Child”. Please do comment with your suggestions and ideas.
Updated Text Version
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XMUd5hap7R-F0JvOl98t8WdCO5kW7z_Wc9krTf9gfx0/edit?usp=sharing
Generated PDF
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-jAMZT_9hCiY04yNUlkeGdSVTQ/edit?usp=sharing
Need to change the permission.
Rookie mistake… Should be working now.
I’m anxious to see the feedback here.
Overall it is looking pretty solid. I’m not familiar with Digimon but I am very familiar with Pokemon. I like what your trying to accomplish and look forward to seeing the advanced moves that you come up with. Here is the feedback I have to offer right now. If you have any specific questions on aspects of the playbook design, please let me know. I’m always happy to share my thoughts =)
Lost Between Worlds
This seems like a description I would normally see under Race. This isn’t much of a move per say. Starting moves usually grant the user some form of an ability. In this case the move describes an aspect of the character that affects the game mechanically. In fact, the player really can’t do much to trigger this move purposefully unless they go out of their way to find situations where their lack of knowledge will lead ot trouble. I could see this being abused heavily by certain types of players.
Soul Monster
The two options for monster attacks seems sparse. I would consider adding one more option at the very least. I feel the special trait flying is really weak. I can’t imagine many players choosing to give their character a slow and severely limited flying capability. How often would that really prove useful? I recommend dropping the slow part of the description and just have the duration of flight limited.
Special Device
The wording is somewhat confusing. It says “detect your monster and other devices alike.” Are you trying to say that this Special Device can detect other special devices? If so, the wording is not clear. Perhaps something along the lines of “detect your monster and other devices like itself” or “detect your monster and other devices similar to itself”.
Marques Jordan Thank you for the feedback. Sorry on the wording on Special Device, you got the idea, thanks for the correction.
On Soul Monster, I can agree, the limited speed can make this option pretty ugly compared to the others, I’m taking that out.
On Lost Between Worlds, I really just wanted to have this idea that the players should know very little about where they are in the moment, but this is probably not the best way to go about it. I’ll have to think of another way to showcase It.
Edit: also, I don’t know what other attack type to add besides melee and ranged…
Virtue
You have instructions here but nowhere for the player to write down the virtue they choose. Maybe add a blank line below the sentence for them write this in?
Lost Between Worlds
You could handle this a few different ways.
1. You could keep the information but remove the move header. This information could exist right before you start listing the starting moves. I don’t really see this on other character sheets but who cares?
2. There really isn’t any space for it but it makes sense that this information could be an opening description for the Background block.
3. On the second page, where you have starting gear, you could have starting gear options on the left and have Lost Between Worlds on the right. It wouldn’t be a move but it would describe an aspect of the character. I don’t think there is anything wrong with this and I have seen other playbooks use this space for adding additional informaiton to the playbook.
4. You could add this information to the third page. Either as part of Virtues or as a footnote or other convenient place.
I really like what you’re going for with this move. It makes sense and adds some evocative fiction to the playbook. I think this makes the most sense in the Background block because this deals specifically with the characters background. Though that area is so full right now I don’t think you have any chance of fitting it in there =(
There isn’t a whole lot to do with ranges. What you have may be perfectly fine concerning Digimon. The only real way to add another option would be to specify the ranges like Short-Range (Melee), Medium Range (certain types of Melee/Ranged weapons/attacks), and Long Range (Range). Originally I thought it felt very limiting to either be only melee or only ranged. I know a lot of people prefer a mixture of both. Ultimately being faithful to what is correct for the Digimon universe matters most.
Marques Jordan The “Virtue space” in the sheet can totally be used to fill in your chosen virtue – or even a brand new one, sure! I’ll add that, thank you.
On the ranges, those are really the only type of attacks we see in digimon concerning attacks from creatures on the rookie level (non evolved), but I wouldn’t mind expandind this idea; I just don’t know what would be plausible to add. A middle ground between ranged and melee might be an option.
On Lost Between Worlds and the Backgrounds – these backgrounds kind of represent every protagonist of the series, so I’d like to keep them. However, I agree Lost Between Worlds feel way more like a Background move. I think maybe moving it to the Virtue may be the best way to handle it, I’ll think about how.
On the same topic: how do you think It could be abused? Maybe If I change the wording a bit (once per session comes to mind) It would feel less akward?
I actually didn’t mean to add Lost Between Worlds as a background. I meant to add as a part of backgrounds that everybody shares, regardless of the type of background option you choose. So the sheet would look something like this (http://goo.gl/yIyYos).
Adding a range option is only important if there are digimon that have a strong medium range or mixture of melee/ranged fighting style. Otherwise it wouldn’t really add anything. If this were pokemon then adding this style of fighting would be extremely important because lots of pokemon operate this way.
In regards to abuse, you’re essentially saying that you have a permanent -1 to SL which many would perceive as very harsh. Given the context of what you are trying to portray, this makes perfect sense so this isn’t an issue.
I see that there are many ways or options to mark XP on the character sheet. To my knowledge only the Wizard playbook has a move that allows you to mark XP. The reason this could be a problem is that a playbook that gains XP faster than normal can lead to uneven party levels. Technically this doesn’t really matter in Dungeon World as differing levels between party members doesn’t present encounter balance issues like other RPGs, where the capability of a Lv 1 and a Lv 5 fighter is extremely drastic.
My worry about this specific occurrence of Mark XP is that it is somewhat open ended. “When your lack of understanding of this world or its ways brings danger to you or your allies, mark XP.” I can see a player constantly pressing their advantage of ignorance in order to mark XP.
“Hey man, my guy wouldn’t have known traps are dangerous”
“Whoa, lighting a large fire at night attracts bad guys? Who knew?”
“Hey I threw a rock at that circle thing to see what sound it made. What are bees again?”
“What is surprise? Where I come from you don’t engage an enemy unless you are both aware of the fight!”
These examples are weak because I’m trying to write them out quickly but you get the general idea. A person could try really hard to find ways to exploit their ignorance of the world in order to mark a lot of XP.
The only way to control this would be to add a limit to the amount you can mark per session. This doesn’t have to be a hard rule though. I imagine any GM worth their salt who is evaluating a new playbook a player wants to use, will address these sorts of XP concerns prior to the game starting. So you could just leave it as is if you don’t feel comfortable hard-coding a limit.
Updated with a text only google docs version for easy commentary.