So I would like to give my Stone Guard Lizard (see the discussion in my earlier post today) a custom Move. In addition to its conventional huge maw with serrated stone teeth that do d6+2 damage when it attacks a player, I was thinking of:
Monster Move: When the monster swings its stone tail at you, roll + DEX
o 10+: you dodge successfully and the monster does no damage
o 7-9: choose one: you are hit and take 1d8 damage or something in your inventory breaks
o 6-: the hit leaves you WEAK (you take the 1d8 damage plus -1 INT going forward)
Any good?
For starters, flip the trigger. Right now, you the GM trigger and call for this move. Make it player triggered, like all other moves. So not “when this dude swings his tail at you,” but “when you avoid this dudes tail.”
After that, my big criticism is this fairly fiction-divorced. It’s about damage on all three outcomes (getting or avoiding it), and debilities, and smashing gear (the most fictional of the outcomes). I’d juice it up. It’s not “take a bunch of damage or lose an item,” but it’s “land awkwardly on your backpack, lose an item; or dodge the tail and wind up cornered,” or whatever.
Just some thoughts!
This is personal preference, but I tend to word the trigger for monster moves as a character action. Not a monster action. As monsters do things without rolling, I just think it sounds better. So instead of “When the monster swings its stone tail at you…” I’d make it “When you try to avoid the monster’s stone tail…”
As for the move itself, it’s not bad. Again, personal preference here but I very often don’t write out a 6- clause. Except in really specific circumstances, I feel it’s better to leave the 6- effect off so the GM can make any move they feel is appropriate.
It sounds exactly like Defy Danger
I see I got ninja’ed by Alfred Rudzki. 😉
I agree with him, too. The move is heavy on the damage dealing. That’s not a bad thing, but there are more interesting ways you can make monsters dangerous.
For more fictional 7-9 results, something like…. Choose one:
– you’re not pinned underneath
– you don’t get thrown across the room
On a 6-, you can always Deal Damage in addition to other things
Honestly I’d be tempted to just give a stone lizard “On a 6- on H&S, mundane weapons shatter in addition to any other GM moves.”
Alfred Rudzki oh if we’re going balls to the wall here, then yeah! I’d also give it moves like: pin them under your bulk, disappear amongst the stones, surprise from above.
Generally agree with Alfred Rudzki’s first comment: the trigger is a little… jarring. It doesn’t really flow with the back and forth of fights in DW.
Like, “the stone lizard swings it’s tail at you!” isn’t really a trigger for a PC move, it’s a GM move in and of itself. The next thing out of your mouth, as the GM, should be “what do you do?” not “roll +DEX.” Because what if they don’t dodge it? What if the barbarian swings his maul at the tail and BAM? What if the dwarven fighter plants his feet and braces his shield and leans into the blow? What if, what if, what if…
Also, what if someone attacks the stone lizard and gets a 7-9, exposing themselves to counter attack. If your counter attack is “it swings its massive stone tail at you” does the fighter then get a roll+DEX to dodge it? In most situations, they wouldn’t.
I’m not saying a custom move should always have a player initiated trigger, but it’s a good rule of thumb. I’d almost make an exception for something like a monster with mind control, but even then, I’d probably do something like “when the living darkness whispers in your mind, and you do what it says, mark XP; if you resist its urgings, roll +WIS…” It’s really just a GM move (“it whispers in your mind, kiiiillll themmmm; I’ll give you an XP if you do; what do you?”) with a custom move if they resist.
Getting back to this swinging tail… maybe ask what you are hoping to gain by having this custom move. To me, it looks like you’re trying to 1) generate results that are more interesting than “take 1d8 damage” and 2) give yourself permission to make more aggressive moves.
But that’s what monster moves are for. Give it some moves like “smash stuff like a wrecking ball” or “grind bone to meal” and then use them.
Side note: most monster moves are just flavorful versions of the core GM moves. “Grind bone to meal” is, generally, just “Deal Damage” with a much more specific fictional effect. But a softer application of that move could be seen as “Put Them in a Spot,” where you tell them that they feel the inexorable pressure and know their ankle will be jellied if they don’t get free!
If you want to make sure you mix it up a bit, keep the list of GM moves handy and put a tic mark next to each one that use; try to balance it out. Or, disclaim decision making and roll a d12 to pick one of the core GM moves. Then really, really try to make that move using the fictional circumstances at hand.
Like, “It swings its stony tail at you, like a wrecking ball! What do you do?” PC dodges, rolls a miss to Defy Danger with DEX. GM rolls a d12, gets a 2 for “reveal an unwelcome truth” and says “You stagger away from that tail, falling on your arse as it swings just past your nose. It smashes into the marble column next to you and junks just go flying. And if it can do that a marble pillar, what would it do to you? Like, you get hit square with one of those swings, it’s going to cave in your chest!”
And there’s your unwelcome truth: you’ve raised the stakes on them! On the next 6- to Defy Danger against that tail, you’re now justified in dealing damage and sending them flying and shattering some ribs and leaving them gasping for air and probably ruining any potions or other fragile things they’re carrying. Or even just calling for a Last Breath. You warned them!
Hmm. It’s late and I feel like I’m rambling. Not sure if any of that was helpful. Short version: don’t make custom moves that presuppose how a PC will react; use monster moves to give yourself permission and reminders to do more than 1d8 damage; use the GM list for inspiration and to keep your moves varied.
No worries Jeremy Strandberg — you’re spot on.
Jeremy Strandberg I would really like to see you DM one day. I know that your passage is scripted, but it betrays a deep understanding of the “feel” of Dungeon World. It was really an inspirational read. I am so looking forward to my next time when I am GM-ing a PBTA game.
Jeremy Strandberg All hail Jeremy Strandberg! Hail!:)