I’m looking for feedback on my revised Grave Knight (looking at you, Tim Franzke ). I really tried to emphasize the knightly aspects of being sworn to Death’s service, such as getting gifts and orders, as well as fielding armies and going into larger-scale battles.
Let me know what you think!
me? Why is it always me?
Unweavering devotion to the cause, I guess.
Because you give amazing feedback, dude! I’m not even joking when I say that whenever I post something, I think, “Man, I hope Tim comments so I know what to improve on and what looks good.”
thank you.
When you use commander of corpses, can you spend 0 souls?
When using honor the dead, is there an upper limit to the number of souls you can have? (Ie. If I stand at a huge battlefield, can I keep summoning souls until I have 1 for every corpse?)
Giovanni Lanza is the link to the file stable? I would like to add it to my online list of alternate playbooks.
Basic Stuff.
Looks and stats are all okay.
Alignment
Evil could use some work, i think this sounds like autoXP every session. Killing someone that begs you for mercy/Someone that would have survived the battle otherwise might work better.
Lawful is a good move.
The bonds are great!
Starting Moves.
I would maybe change the order so that Honor of the Dead and Commander of Corpses are the first moves. Having the first move be when you die is kind of weird. It is flavorful but my first thought was
“The main mechanic is that you don’t die? Doesn’t seem like a reason to play the class”
That is a little thing though.
Buried on Sunday, Born on Monday
i like it. Has a lot of flavor.
Without looking ahead i would expect some moves coming that give you extra stuff when you are on an order from death.
Armored.
Honor the Dead (CHA)
Why is stealing the souls of the fallen instead of burying them honoring them? Also potentially change
On a 10+, gain 3 Souls to, On a 10+ gain 3 Soul
That would show that this is a mechanical ressource, like hold. 3 souls however works too.
Commander of Corpses
Looks okay on the first glance, would need playtesting to say more. I am generally vary of “you get hirelings” as a main class mechanic because it mostly creates more work for the GM. I always feel bad when i forget to mention what hireling X is doing.
Why/How do Skelletons help you keep watch?
I think the double mentioning of Zombies taking stress isn’t necessarily needed since “when an undead soldier takes damage, mark 1 stress” still applies.
Maybe think about adding a description of what Warrior 2 means. Most (new) players don’t know what the hireling skills do. (i know i don’t)
And include the hireling command move somewhere on the sheet as a reminder. (unless it is on the general move sheet, i can’t remember)
Death Never Eats, Never Sleeps
Is fine. What is the purpose for its inclusion?
No. I’ll throw in a minimum of 1 Soul clause.
Theoretically, but it’s like spamming Cure Light Wounds. You’re going to fail at some point.
Joshua Slane is right here, maybe clarify
When you bind a spirit to a corpse, spend as many Souls as you wish.
to “when you bind a soul to a corpse” or something like that.
Edit: A “spend at least 1 soul” clause is prbly. better yes.
More feedback later.
Oh in general this needs all players to be okay with that, playing a “neutral servant of death” is really hard since a lot of the themes really push into necromancy+evil territory. So the rest of the players have to adapt to that class. That can be a problem. (and is a general problem when dealing with Necromantic themes)
However i don’t say this shouldn’t be done. Just saying that this can create problems in play.
Tim Franzke you know what’s funny? I don’t actually have any advanced moves that key off of Buried on Sunday. I’ll have an updated version in a few minutes that has some of those changes (including a move or two that deals with BoS).
the “riding on pale horses one” would make a lot of sense if you could only do it when on a mission from death.
For the skeleton, I was thinking of an “eternal vigil” sort of vibe, as opposed to the meat shields that are zombies.
For On a Pale Horse, I’ll think about that. It may be worth it to tie into the Death orders, I don’t know though.
Yeah, I agree that necromantic characters shift the tone a bit. But is it really that different than an evil cleric who chooses to worship Nergal the Corrupter, who will devour the sun and cause darkness to befall the land? I know what you mean, though.