Quentin’s Bloody Scabbard
(minor magical item, weight 0)
Generations ago, there lived a renowned bard. His stories were irreverent, even crude, and well-known for their graphic content. This adventuresome bard lived a life of over-the-top violence until his dying day, and in that time nothing — no armor, no magic — could stop his blade. Legend holds that the buckets of blood his enemies lost remains in the leather of this ornate, exotic scabbard, cleaning and maintaining any sword it holds.
Any slightly-curved sword sheathed within will be maintained by the magic of the scabbard, and any weathering or damage will be repaired. When drawn, it can cut through anything given enough time. It won’t ignore armor, but it will penetrate otherwise impossible obstacles such as a dragon’s scales or a castle’s walls.
The sword in question must fit the exotic curved scabbard, obviously, and any conditions that would mar the sword’s perfection, or ruin its ability to give off a bitchin’ lens flare negates this magic.
Love it. Perfectly in tone.
Adam Koebel use it in your game. Kill the apocalypse dragon with it while wearing a cowboy hat or discussing tipping bar wenches.
It is your destiny.
I really enjoy this. I think I will find a place for it in my campaign =)